| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|11:46 am] |
Lord look into the eyes that saw wrong Lord look at the hands who did wrong Lord look into the mind that thought wrong
please forgive me lord for my actions and lead me Lord to your heart |
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| happy mother's day |
[May. 14th, 2006|01:50 pm] |
today i was at church and it was dedicated to the mother's of course. but it was very special because the lead singer of the choir sang a song and goes like this:
A Song for Mama (Boyz II Men) You taught me everything And everything you've given me I always keep it inside You're the driving force in my life, yeah
There isn't anything Or anyone that I could be And it just wouldn't feel right If I didn't have you by my side, oh
You were there for me To love and care for me When skies were gray
Whenever I was down You were always there To comfort me
And no one else can be What you have been to me You will always be
You will always be the girl In my life, for all times
Mama, mama you know I love you (I love you) You know I love you Mama, mama, you're the queen of my heart Your love is like tears from the stars (Yes it is) Mama I just want you to know Lovin' you is like food to my soul (Yes it is, yes it is, oh yes it is, yes it is, yes it is, oh)
You're always down for me Have always been around for me Even when I was bad You've shown me right from my wrongs Yes you did
And you took up for me When everyone was down on me You always did understand You gave me strength to go on
There were so many times Looking back when I Was so afraid
And then you'd come to me And say to me I could face anything
And no one else can do What you have done for me You'll always be, you will always be The girl in my life
Mama, mama you know I love you (You know I love you) You know I love you Mama, mama, you're the queen of my heart (You are) Your love is like tears from the stars (Your love is like tears from the stars) Mama I just want you to know (Mama I just want you to know) Lovin' you is like food to my soul
Never gonna go a day without you Fills me up just thinkin' about you I'll never go a day without my
Mama, mama you know I love you (You know, mama, you know I love you) You know I love you Mama, mama, you're the queen of my heart (The queen of my heart) Your love is like tears from the stars (See your love, your love is like tears from the stars) Mama I just want you to know (Mama whoa, my mama, mama) Lovin' you is like food to my soul (Loving you is like food to my soul)
Oh yeah, yeah You are the food to my soul Yes you are
oh did it touch me so much when i heard this song because i haven't heard in so long and remembering all the things my mom did for me and sometimes i would never get the chance to thank her for what she has done for me. it almost brought tears to my eyes. and i wish my mom was there to share that song with me because it really touched me. i guess when you get older and understanding how your parents went through alot hard times to raise you and sacrifice things in their life for you. you start having a relationship with your parents.
i just want to say mom I LOVE YOU!
p.s i don't really care that i'm going to say this but YEAH I AM A "MAMA'S BOY" and proud of it. cause she carried me in her womb for 9 months and her bringing me into this world and i owe that blessing to her. so peace dudes and dudettes |
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| feelFREE |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|11:20 pm] |
Sept/19/05
There is change in the movement. Constant thinking. Long pauses buried into memories. Tears fall. Reminisce on the times we created. Trying to find peace in myself.
Oct/4/05
The movement that of which my thinking progresses, not through set admiration, but through the movement of knowledge of itself.
Mental contemplation. Exertion of this thinking. Combine with unknown factors. Releases subcategories of mind itself. With meaningless thoughts to become with meaning. Sheds with countless ideas. To seek relation between the ideal and real. To find the truth in which the ideal begins. Thought the beginning in which is found. To come to the illusions of the sought out conclusions. Even though is there is no resolution to look upon. Resolution will not occur. Through the minds of many.
Oct/6/05
Passing me by is the thoughts of countless things. Seeing days gone by without stopping by. In a distance words surpass my feet and above my head trying to find the affections of my thinking. Infinite faces sharing the same thoughts. This is not reassuring what leads to the next. What is what we look for is what we don’t know what, what is? Luring what we don’t know creates the aspects of passing immense thoughts and for that I share no agreements with what is. But in a case I do accept. Remembrance of the over course of my thoughts should this be the what cause this thought to occur?
1:45AM
Worldwide I enter. Which faces nothing of full findings. If nothing contains with nothing the where are these findings seen? Sworn before I find in nothing delegates pure creativity would proper essence to figure in the mind of nothing shows that of figured nothing. If the meaning of the findings of nothing ness commence without a sense should it be that these findings enters the freeness of thinking? If I relate any thoughts in the world of nothing would it be that my thinking of nothingness is nothing but nonsense?
7:58PM
Mind stimulation. Hectic turns into calmness. Stillness is in distress of something indefinable in thus in the finding in the stillness causes the seen. The fullness of this seen should not contain the greatness of this fullness. In the midst of the sum thought balance. Should it be that the fullness would be war of these sum thoughts? Out of these sum thoughts the fullness continues to follow flow.
8:52PM
If destiny contains the unexpected thoughts are we destined to know what which is unexpected a good thought?
8:59PM
Is it what we are praying for is to know what is really God’s plan for us?
11:17PM
Potential feelings occur through the mental efficiency.
Oct/11/05
3:43AM
Sensation conflicts with temptation. Fidgeted contemplation dwells with no absolute reason to. Which brings nothing but no innocence.
11:50AM
I think, I speak, and I write. I find no means to a conclusion yet. But to find insight with what I do. I know I find happiness in myself of what I do. But does it imply that I am really happy? But is it that of what makes me happy in the form to give me sensation to redefine myself?
12:50PM
Silence reenters into chaos. To crave for peace in one whole. Not by parts we ask for but by wholeness. Reinsurance is in part.
Oct/13/05
3:19AM
Encountered some life of meaning. That is my life. Vaguely it has no means. It is myself that contains what my meanings of life is.
12:35PM
We are smothered by thoughts that figures ourselves. Without to be in notice of what it means. If we the people become of what we are knowing ourselves in a different time.
6:50PM
We are people who may be blinded. That become untitled to thought that not of our own. Confusion. Our state of mind is seen in blur. Must find of what becomes within this thought that blinds us from our own thinking.
Oct/30/05
3:07AM
The mind flows constantly with doubts. But how can we live freely with doubts in our thoughts?
11:30PM
If we as a community is to love each other as our own then why must we retaliate each on of us? If we are suppose to show our faith in war is it that what God is saying or is it based on principles that are made by our own? If we are to think of peace why are we thinking of war? If it is peace that we are searching for we certain to have any doubt about it. Thus we must find peace in self.
11:54PM
How are we to escape the world of stress? Why do we find stress as a trigger of anger to approach our problems that give us this stress?
11:59PM
For we are the people to apprehend in search of happiness we must find happiness in us. We must stop to think of what happiness is to each other. To find this happiness into each other we must understand that of the person. We must feel that happiness of the person. But in co-operation the person must find that of a happy state of mind.
Oct/31/05
12:08AM
My mind in daily thoughts are in confusion with other thoughts but they are link to each other in some sort. In ways possible are thoughts caused by this other thoughts of the past time?
9:05PM
I am found in seemingly many influxuations of the mind. But it stresses the mind of my weaknesses.
Nov/1/05
3:31PM
How long will it be until I figure that love is not seen in most? To actually feel love without senseless doubt. With hesitation of my consciousness.
Nov/3/05
1:26AM
To inspire someone who in fear of inspiration gives a chance for the fear to disappear. But to figure what that person is to be inspired with may take longer. To give a person to find what is most interested in, may believe that there is no hope to accomplish with. Into inspiration we seek of interest but have no interest in something will interest them even more.
1:33AM
To people we are giving no choice but to see failure. But to fail is to show courage to learn. We are born to have failure in life. We cannot deny of failure. We must harness it and use it.
1:50AM
When will it be when I see that that to live in peace with each other we must be in peace with ourselves? If we do not see what peace is this world will see no harmony. If it is war that we conduct with each other we are conducting war onto ourselves.
Nov/4/05
11:56PM
I find that if I think of things that don’t interest other I find it compelling.
Nov/6/05
7:22PM
Is it worth being in a world of suffering? But without any suffering how are we suppose see any change between ourselves? With suffering we are to understand to accept what is there for us. A world bound to be of full peacefulness and harmony. To gin peace within it self we progress through suffering. We see suffering as a way of depression. But why is it that went we become depressed we take it in away of no point of return. Have we in this stage been inadequate to find no peace. We must influence the learning abilities that arise from suffering and what become of it.
Nov/10/05
12:04AM
To be in fear I feel immense pain.
1:23AM
To accept that of which is not, sheds many emotional thoughts.
1:29AM
I have constant thoughts of doubt. But is it a must to think in this way?
1:33AM
Signify emotion and grasp the thought of the senses.
1:36AM
Constant feelings of confusion. Not in depression but not in stress however relieved.
Nov/20/05
1:49PM
Why is it that we are shadowed by those that do not concern us? Is it what which we are curious about or is it the template that people use to reach true satisfaction?
1:52PM
If writing is the only thing that keeps me happy them by all means it will.
2:04PM
To seek happiness is he basic signal to life but if to find happiness in us to maintain it is thought of feeling. But why must we feel when we can become it?
2:11PM
To find what we are not is a danger zone to become something we are not. However isn’t it a beginning to change who we are?
2:55PM
The thought of giving the inspiration to be who you are is the inspiration for yourself.
2:59PM
In the self we intensify the mind’s limitations. It is the drive for life’s identified.
3:04PM
To look through the eyes of fear, depression, sadness, anger, the lost soul wandering through life. Portrays the eyes of the seeker and thinker of life’s discovers. |
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| truthREALNESS |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|04:49 am] |
One bares to never to see the truth that lies within his grasp. However the truth begins with pain. Pain of knowing. Knowing is the pain. The truth is to come with many direct pains. Its knowledge of truth. Truth does not pretend. With pain gains the knowledge, intelligence. Truth is put in many different matters. When truth is hidden it is cowardly. This one flaw that humans contain. We are always equipped to hide the truth. Thus because hidden pities the self.
We can try to focus on truth of lies and truth of intelligence.
TRUTH: does not see simplicity without thought. It holds many to doubt. Truth begins with an open mind. Truth does not relieve any doubt that we have next. Truth holds back the full potential of a thought. My I remind myself that truth of this writing may not be the whole truth. Thus because of other conclusions on truth. It might be evident that truth in others is not yet founded in oneself without feeling pain. Truth is carried through a pure realization of oneself. The truth is a virtue of knowledge. Truth has a non-equal mixture of happiness and depression. Truth lives to thrive to be real as it is. Truth has the beginning and an end. The truth is a motivation to a goal that we have to try to thrive for oneself. Yet it has no mercy when fully understood. Truth signifies respect for oneself. It should bring unity. The unity of positive and negative forces. However, how does the “unity” bring the full knowledge of intelligence? UNITY is LOVEIN PURITY. UNITY IS THE STATE CLEARITY. WITHOUT PROBABILITY IT UNITES GOOD AND BAD, HATE AND LOVE, TOGETHER WITH ONE PASSION TO THE TRUTH. Truth. If I write truth is it the real truth? Is the word “truth” “true”? in these questions can state through metaphysics. Truth suffers the whole of a person. Mentally we find that truth is the confusion of oneself. Truth is all elements of life. Truth is the emotional feelings. Truth is the physical notions. Truth is the taste. Truth is heard. Truth is the seen. Truth is the human self. The BEING of “truth” lies within us. Truth is built in us. It is something that has been in and through the minds of many. Truth is created by instruments of other minds. With truth we debate what is the “TRUTH”? is in my mind lies the true meanings. How must I search it within my whole being? However we are in this world one sided believers. When we find one truth from one person it is not the real truth. With truth is a search through life. We see and find, we hear and live, we feel and become one self. Truth is entered as not the real however in a different form. Truth signifies the intelligence of the so called human kind. However humanity sheds less truth for others. Truth states the person real. But how does a person of lies shed the real truth? However everyone denies his or her own truth because of what he or she done through the past? With truth we bond it with how our life is based. We seek our truth through our knowledge of knowing. We read book we listen through others of higher intelligence. However they have there interpretation of the truth. But we find it not enough. Thus because we find it as just another way to deceive our intelligence. This is the only way we could find our only truth. Our only personal life. However how personal can life be with truth? We extend truth to the “personal” of our own liking. Truth in finding our own personal intelligence. Is not of a “truth” but of the “real truth”. However in events of the unexpected shows that of truth. In the non-practiced of the unexpected we see truth through things that are unavoidable. In this we can say things happen for a reason. But in the truth we find the real truth but it really isn’t at times. However it does. Truth seeks a meaning for a person to search with no means of followed. With regrets, we deny. Deny the fact of truth. The truth in which we seek we regret because it does not feel or look to our liking. However in moments which in great deal of knowing the truth we find to our liking. We pose that in truth we find what gives us the sensation of higher intelligence. We see of not what we do however we see thought what is heard. With truth we deceive the real truth. We do not know when it is heard however when it is seen. It’s ironic when two things cannot see we hear but when we cannot hear we see. In this we can past our dreams as our truth. Imagination. We imagine that truth is founded by those who have seen and heard the truth through their meditations. As though when we read that of their meditations we capture their essence through seeing the truth through our imagination. To take one place of truth through one piece of life. To take one piece of truth through intelligence. To take one piece of truth through truth. Is the truth. We take truth to through our life by reflection. We take truth to through our knowledge by studies. We take truth to through truth by reanalyzing our understanding. Truth is to say a very complicated thesis to look upon the reason is to because it is seen upon by many that disagree. Through those eyes of disagreement. Truth can be never be foretold as the real TRUTH. As I explained before that in this writing will not be the whole truth. However in a just moment into free mind it is hard to predict that this whole thing of I’m writing is the truth and to prove the facts about truth to be real as truth is will not attain on real true meaning of the writing. However by far in my writing you can see that the statements that have been written will give an exact slight of truth in minor thoughts. At each time you read this writing there is a sense of truth that will come out. And as we find each true meaning we find hope that the real truth will come out. It is probably amazing how right now that of what I am writing is a sense of truth. A sense of truth that will give that hope for that search in which that person is finding. But which I am not really implying that this hope will actually be the one to guide you through those immense stages of truth. I can maybe/probably imagine the thoughts that are maybe running through your mind when you are reading this piece. If I say this then it would not be the truth. This maybe because we cannot know what one mind is thinking. However can we predict one’s truth? If we intend to predict or provoke one’s truth to initiate the real truth out. If not then truth that they are saying is not the real truth. Those who prevent the knowledge of the truth hides in cowardly. And this is to show the deceitfulness of one’s mind. We are deceitful to each other to an extent of how we look upon people. That availability of a person of trustworthiness in. May indeed all that not trust worthy to you. However in choice we hold a truth to bind others to carry on an essence. That we the people that keeps us connected by means is the essence of truth. But to rely on truth is to rely on our know knowledge. The know knowledge is the truths that we find for ourselves. And this is what we base our reasons, our methods, our analysis, our perspectives, our choices, our decisions, our emotions. However mostly we base it one the self being. Truth figures the stardom of a person in his or her life. A found fixture in an entity with passion. Truth is founded by the mixture of the self. This goes back to what I said before how we in unity the fullness of truth. However if we cannot have mixture in the self then we will not understand the truth. Experiences are an equal image with in mixture. Each truth has a mixture of experiences. Through life and through life and through life the problematic decisions, the choices, the existence, the believence, the purity of the mind-meditations. If my truth, or should I say the truth becomes the truth. Thus because the truth does not present in one statement. The truth submits in many. But how could this be when I have just stated by far as many important points? If in this question sees that truth is not found in one’s statement then it must be that truth is found in many searches. However could this all be nonsense in which I am writing right now. Could this be a sign of truth that I have just wasted my time putting thought in this writing? But without the thought of truth I know that there would be no truth. If there would be no truth then my thought of my intelligence does not have a significant truth of that to my intelligence. But if there is no truth to my intelligence then there would be no self being. So there must be a truth that gives me some truth to my writing. If I look at my writing not only can I see the present truth in it but can it sense the future truth? In this question in a thought could the future truth be the truth of the future? By far in this writing of my truth is very unbalanced equation. It is something that is holding back to my essay that is not reaching out to the truth that is trying to be proved. As insofar into this essay the truth has been conceived in many different sets of matters. However it was not controlled property through logic but by being through reason of subjectivity. However it is not that truth is a reason of subjectivity. Of that in subjectivity in individualism. Thus part of truth that is based on only instinct or common sense the without the facts showing distinction. The opinion will not be the truth. But however we are not all the same thinkers nor do we proceed within the same intentions of thought. It is important that we look at truth with great deal of care. Especially in what I have just said because it deals with opinions of others. Or should I say this whole essay. But I neither will nor turn my back around on my opinion or thoughts or statements and or my reasons on truth. It maybe safe to say that of what I have just said could be that truth of this essay. If not yet the truth but just some possible thought of truth in this essay. In throughout this essay I displayed nothing but the “pros and cons” of truth. With possible situations. Now must I pick a side on truth to prove my point that truth is truth. But to prove the real truth is beyond the midst of my knowledge which becomes an abstract thought. |
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| feelFREE |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|01:01 am] |
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its a cause of desertion of the mind that revolves of the mind of the weak. resembles a hardship between a mastery of over human self. the fact that of feelings or actions falls appealing to the deserted mind. it is a major fall of thinking. |
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| feelFREE |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|12:54 am] |
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we do not know of what fear. is its a thing with the past, the present, and the future. its the fear of the chaotic outside world. our fear is not the cause of the physical however the fear of the mind. its the fear that is built in the mind which is created by thoughts. our fears are characterized by our mind. our minds can be a very manipulative source to trick the mind of concentration. we are not a controller to others however more to oneself.
you are your own force to face.
your own fear to face and hate.
you are controlled by your mind
that does not control your true feelings.
you separate the mind and heart.
when it should work together.
live with a hated nature
we deny the wrong doings.
you disconnect the real from yourself. |
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| feelFREE |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|12:15 am] |
in posture in unbalance force breaks between layers of unmatched scenes. imaging convo pictures reveal in torment and quietness.
confined in suppression. deliberately pushed by unwanted pressure. bolded by my upsets but conflicts resists with negative passion. predicted without beauty folded and folded by many foolish retaliations. impatient matters creates problematic progress.
the begger of the heart. each soul fades from the realty of convergence of the possibilities of the matter. bickered of tapped perfection.
shinning of shields of fields of gray. with no will poison piercing through veins. releasing the greater pain of my great defeat. i withdrawing of bowing clicking. fateness of gasping.
breeching of mental balance. in free openness. chased fears close with no cause. it fades away with a pause. puzzled with turmoild memories of lifes forgotten. it heckles with no remorse. with the presence of no fear. it whispers with no attendance.</font> |
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| feelFREE |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|03:37 am] |
it is i who in myself know myself. in the abyss in my mind stuck under a rock confused and don't know where to go. i hold and grasped to the thin air. nothing budges. contained and sustained from the deep hole i look up to. in still movements i see my life pushing me away into a light i chase that`s walking away every step i take. in a pressured positioned switches to a dark room to a chair under a light with a garden surrounded - flowers bloom, birds fly. what do i do? is it my reflection of a dream in front of my mind? taking breathes knowing it might not be real. in memories i drift far beyond across the ocean: rived yet so subtle but becomes so puzzled. waves of far gone remembrance lies between un-encountered mistakes. shades of decisions go on in front of my face.
i don`t know where my life begun. don`t know if becomes a short story or a long one. it never leaves a trace in front even when i push more than i should.. i`ll still be here writing. its not what it feels or what it does. where did it begin in my life? why does it hold on so tight where u cannot release? like a straight jacket that was pulled to tight given up is sometimes i do to feel released free but still tight when i breath or move. twist and roll and pull nothing works but to stay put. contained in a room with nothing with just faint sounds of freedom teasing. in a struggle in furious moments i become something i`m not and it is self being of hate shows of my negligence of myself becomes fellowship with the hatred in self.
i ponder in mindful collections. in disturbance i fell. deep in shadows rise blinded from dark filled secrets. blocked from those in path. in breaths short taken. wrapped into struggles. dominant force brought in between. decayed tone memories. fleshed into the body. departed into sane foulness.
imagination commence. initiated to become faintly gone. ideas finds between. convert through physical emotions. levels of unmatched conflict prevails undefined actions. covered by hatred. purity of good intentions. contained before foretold by deceitfulness. in defeat it arises. silently it immerses to become an essence.
steps taken lonely. persist with clarity reflections. embedded in rigid stones. chiseled in finger passiveness. coiled in thorns. faintly dripping water. hands of calluses in opened palms.
rose tips strucked the heart. delicate prickles. lightly touch. captured destinations pictured in open length. distances will engage flow. curled toes griped sharpened bone griped tight skin ripped through silk ortiments. gentle conversations immenses with creative sensuality. light saw. glared back from substances off the softened brown. closed lids accept. finger tips brushes. digs deep pressured forward. release. become free.
depths are not in foretold. common intentions fell playful powerful binding. integrity of impatience. panic faith cultivated findings.
luring in lessons. destined to be more in defined as to be indefinate. to purposely to find and neglect for the maintained meaning. pardon of speech. leaf to leaf in time and time, it jumps. fortifide in water bonded by struggles to lose confidence. in attachment with obscene structures.</font> |
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| lovePERSISTS |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|02:47 am] |
if love for pleasure we are just for lust we tatter with others for our enjoyment if we love without sacrifice we are not love love is no to possess with selfishness with love we ourselves are not selfish we do not take to love we love to accept love is to learn acceptance without hate love is the complete and is not jealous love is the struggle of life it is a struggle os life to live with pain love is a pain of working and compromising love is not a straight answer it wraps around many love is a fear a fear to not let go love is secular it is shared be many we are not a creator of love we are just a holder love is not understanding it is a strength for overcoming all feats of anger hate love is not a neglectance it is a capturer of the self love is not to take advantage it is not to take in a second we cannot live without it it is a dream to love with purity love is passive love is to build with self love is endurance of will patience love questions love is specific but others think simple it is complicated love is powerful but yet so sensual love realizes with mistakes it concentrates with patience
our love does not determine what happens between others. love should not suffocate the hear. love should help us breathe. love is not for a search it is a natural finding. if we control love we do not love with intentions. if the person does not endure pain we do not sacrifice you love with sacrifices. it is life we love with pain sacrifice. we do not contain with patience with love. with love is not physical however physical with emotions. Love is security not your physical actions. with love of the whole self being is security of the heart. we can not section love because of only one purpose. it is to love with purity to love without a doubt, without preperation of knowing.
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